Spring Closet Cleaning: The Good, The Bad, and The Very Ugly

Spring! You came!

So loving these warm days. It changes everything.

Unlike the rest of you, I have dreaded the clothing shift this weather brings and have fiercely avoided the mall, my usual magazines, Pinterest, and even the clothing section at the Target- lest I be tempted!

When the Spending Fast started, I knew in the back of my mind the transitions to both Spring and Fall would be hard for me. These are my two favorite times of year to shop. Typically I make a list of items I want and think that I need, and thoroughly enjoy buying them. 

This year to keep things interesting, I got all my Rubbermaid bins of next season clothes out from the garage. First of all, it is shocking to see the amount of clothing I have when you add in the t-shirts, gym shorts, summer pajama's (because I'm an eighty-year-old woman trapped in a thirty-year-old body) light-colored jeans, swim suits, blouses, tanks and sundresses- oh my!

Last Spring I had a baby, so I stuck to yoga pants 90% of the time.

The Spring before that, I had just had a baby, also yoga pants.

So there was a lot of sorting and trying on to do. And most of it does not fit! At a certain point in the past two years, I began to feel frustrated at having a closet full of clothes that were too small. For some reason, it did not dawn on me that I would not alllwwwaaayyys be pregnant, so I gave all the small clothes away! 6 months of GI problems and a major diet change (due to food allergies) later, hello, not much fits. Not having a baby growing inside of you makes it possible to wiggle back into some of those old clothes. Duh! I should've thought of that.

But even though I cut my wardrobe in half each time we moved, and probably need to cut it in half again to keep things appropriate (i.e. shorts that stay up) I still have more than enough to get by on. And it makes me glad to be in the midst of a spending fast this Spring to give these clothes one last chance. Many people follow the "If you haven't worn it in a year, give it away" rule. I support that and follow the same rule, my only difference is I keep things for 10 years before giving them away. Just so I can see the full life-cycle of that blouse or pair of pants, and things really do come back in style... I think. But I am not exactly a fashionista so don't take my word for it. Some of these clothes below are definitely cutting it close. This is their last summer! These pictures are some of my findings. And of course, whenever a picture of me is involved, great deal of awkwardness is to be seen as well.

I will never look comfortable in photographs. Holding a child helps me feel most like myself these days. As does wearing my sneaks (a cool way to say tennis shoes). But as you can tell, I did read somewhere that you're supposed to put your hands on your hips so every time I thought to do that, I immediately did.

Here are some of the good things I found...

A chambray shirt by Halogen

A cotton dress by French Connection (It hits just above the knees)

Crochet blouse from Target, printed shorts by J. Crew

My favorite t-shirt and chino skirt, both by J. Crew

Below is my bad list. Not because these items are inherently awful, they could work great in someone else's closet (except the printed overalls, ain't nobody gonna make those look good). But like most of the clothes I own, I do not wear them! My wardrobe mainly consists of things that I buy because they look 'fun.' I do not er on the side of practicality. I have lots of 'going out' types but they totally don't line up with my Walmart wine drinking and Redbox movie renting lifestyle. For running errands, taking the kids to the park, and play dates, I almost always wear a plain cotton shirt, jeans, tennis shoes or TOMS, and a fleece pull-over. On date night it's usually a button-up shirt and cowboy boots, and to church sometimes I get crazy and will layer things and even add a piece of jewelry. This Spring and Summer we have lots of weddings to attend but my wedding outfit M.O is to blend in, not stand out-- except for when I was pregnant and decided to get freaky and rock green metallic:

Sorry about the orb in the background, and shout out to Abby, the pretty girl on my right who gets married this month!

But this is not, and never shall be a fashion blog. Mostly because of my fierce commitment to the jean and sneaker combo (that I refuse to apologize for). My friend Heath and her sister Mary Keller do a beautiful job writing about their closet rebuilding (among other classy things) on their blog Southland Avenue. In February they posted about the simplicity of the French Five, a challenge to build your wardrobe only buying five items each season, so ten pieces per year. According to the method, the best items are simple ones. By doing this Spending Fast, I am forced to really examine what I own instead of focusing on acquiring more. When I really look at my closet, I see a lot of trendy (past trends, all past!) because these are the items that to me, are appealing to buy. But on a daily basis, these clothes are not practical nor comfortable and I am not drawn to wear them which is why for years I am constantly saying, "I have nothing to wear" because what I really mean is, "I have nothing comfortable to wear" because who is really feeling comfortable in sequins and floral party dresses?

I wear this number every year on New Year's Eve

Lou and Mack would look really under dressed if I wore this to take them to Toddler Time at the library

Oh you didn't buy yourself a pair of Lily Pulitzer overalls in college? Yes, that's right, butterflies and lime green were all the rage in South Carolina. Not! These beauties have been siting in my closet for 10 years

My party dress, holding on to this one just in case we get invited to an 80's mixer

This is more my style. My favorite t-shirt I own. Jerry Seinfeld had a yellow lucky shirt that he called "Golden Boy." I call this baby, "Old Red." My grandma's best friend gave it to me. I wore it to asthma camp so it brings back some very dear memories. 

I think I will be trying the French Five starting in January 2015. I think it's a great way to keep things simple and prevent hoarding. Number 1 on my list is the perfect white t-shirt.

Please share with me some of your favorite Spring items! Do they carry over from season to season or do they birth and die out a few weeks later like my butterfly overalls?

Thanks Abby Jane for taking these pictures! (not pictured are our four children crawling around at my feet)

Month THREE in Summary

In like a lion and out like a lamb, March has been my favorite month of 2014. The long awaited mental shut-down occurred and I am thankful to not be filling my precious brain space with thoughts about new clothes, furniture, Spring accessories, and make-up. Part of how this happened is avoiding Pinterest! It will be terribly sad when I walk around wearing colored pants, wedges, and striped shirts, things that markedly became fashionable LAST year but I hope my friends don't drop me. Lord knows my husband doesn't stay on trend so no judgement there.

Avoiding the mall, magazines, and catalogs makes not spending much easier. It is common sense to the rest of the world. I am just now realizing if I don't want to shop, my visual intake of "stuff" needs to decrease.

Some other great things about March...

We threw a crazy first birthday party for our beloved Mack. We only spent $50 on decorations and food, and it was a blast! My friend Abby gave me the leftover decorations from her son's 1st birthday last month and since the themes were "Lots of Color" "Chalkboard Stuff" and "Deer" I added to what she gave me using what I had on hand.

My wonderful friend Beth made Mack the banner and I can't wait to hang it up in his "room" (actually a closet, pictures coming soon).

My mama sewed the deer pillows for Mack's nursery, aren't they great?!

The ages of the party guests ranged from three-days-old to four-years-old, the triplets came which brought our count of two-year-olds up to ten, but it was a fun play date and I enjoy when our home is busting at its seams with people we love.

Lou spent the entire party stealing juice boxes and eating frosting off of all the cupcakes

The kids ate mini PB & J sandwiches (crustless of course), fresh fruit, and apple juice.












 The mamas ate chicken salad and in retrospect, I should definitely have had wine on hand as well.

Wishing I had gotten a better pic of all the bambino's!

Mack loved his cupcake and ate it like a boss, he held it in his hand while methodically opening and closing his mouth with Lou screaming in his ear, "Do you like it Mackie? Do you love your birthday cake?"

Photo by Abby Jane Galleries

After everyone left, I found some banana in Lou's dollhouse, half a cupcake under the coffee table, and a can of soda stuffed into a pillow case.

Among other March Madnesses, I set a personal record in gift-card-wait-time, I received a gift card to Sephora from my mom for Christmas. I typically treat a gift-card like a coupon, just using it to take the 'edge off' the bill total! This trip I chose the cheapest items: Sephora's house brand of liquid eye-liner and a nude lipstick to make sure I stayed under the set amount. I'd rather have bought this and this because they are "better" products (they last longer) but I will survive, I think, if my eyeliner doesn't stay on during all my big outings to the park.

Hubby went over the credit card bill last night and we were both I was shocked to see we didn't save money this month-- Dang it! He rolled his eyes and sighed, but was not surprised. If there is a lesson we have learned in our marriage, it is to "always have low expectations." I compensated for not spending on myself by actually remembering to send gifts to five different wedding and baby showers. When he questioned these decisions, I gave a detailed, unwanted explanation of how each well-chosen gift was a symbol of my love.

This means we are 0-3 for monthly savings during the spending fast. In January, I over-spent on groceries and in February, we spent our extra moola on a vacation for the two of us.

People keep asking me if it's hard and to be honest, I do miss buying things. It is fun to get something new. Sometimes I miss the shopping bags, rearranging my shoes to make room for a new pair, fresh book pages, the strapping young Fed-Ex man. But I miss it like Christmas. I love Christmas, I adore the music, the cookies, decorating, all the nostalgia that comes that time of year. But do I spend every day in March saying, "Why isn't it Christmas yet? When will it come, how many more days?" No, and I'm guessing you don't either. I enjoy it when it's here, but without it, life goes on. Waiting for the spending fast to end is like waiting for Christmas to come, it will be here eventually but in the mean time there is a lot of other important stuff to do.

I have friends who fasted for 6 months and another for 90 days (refraining from shopping, so hot right now!) I'd find that harder because time is just short enough where you can see the light at the end of the no-shopping-tunnel so you can make your list and revise it and be ready to go when the fast expires. A year seems like forrreevvverrrr so there is not much point in daydreaming because December 31st is eons from now.

So I will wait until then... but am also hoping my husband gets it together and starts buying me STUFF instead of thoughtful trinkets that die or get eaten for upcoming holidays (so far I got flowers for Valentine's Day and chocolate covered strawberries for our anniversary when was really wanting floral print clothing and cheveron covered Toms!) I almost miss the days when he forgot to get me gifts so I would go shopping and buy them on his behalf. Almost.

Also, I am continuing my Lent challenge of making space and waking up earlier. I loooove mornings now. I wake up between 5:30 and 6 (yes, AM!) and spend time listening to music, reading, journaling, and chugging coffee before the babies wake up. Some days I'm wearing my jeans and sneeks and have brushed my teeth as well. The standard time for having those things done pre-March was noon! Hallelujah!

How do you get through hard days?

So here is my question, for anyone who might find it in their heart of hearts to answer, how do you handle your day when it falls apart around you? When the children cry too much, when the boss criticizes, when the wardrobe majorly malfunctions, when the favorite restaurant is closed (happened to us a few weeks ago- we FREAKED out), when you are stressed and anxious and maxed out and you can’t handle it if something else goes wrong… and then, something else goes wrong? What do you do? What do you turn to?

I am looking for a relatively practical response.

Because for me, the answer used to be, if I have ___, I’ll feel better, this day will be better.

My answer is often food. If one of my children won’t nap and is sobbing their head off in the crib, I am standing in front of the pantry shoving chocolate chips in my mouth. Sometimes the answer is shopping. If I am frustrated with everything, a moment of peace looks like sitting on the computer, looking at pretty things, putting them in my shopping cart and buying them.

I do not feel guilty at all for buying myself a latte yesterday, even though I purposefully included no coffee drinks in my year-long spending fast. I do not feel guilty because to me, doing this spending fast is not accomplishing a goal nor passing a test. I am not looking for a pat on the back from anyone and that is certainly not why I am keeping a blog.

This spending fast is not about getting a trophy at the end nor is it about deprivation. It is just a closer look at myself, my tendencies, my own life.

Day in and day out, this fast is seriously no big deal. If I have the urge to shop, I just do something else and it goes away, who knew?! If I am out and want to get a milkshake, I go home and make one instead it's wild! Sure, there are moments, sometimes hours where I am thinking about buying stuff and I struggle, then I move on.

I am very curious, is this how other people work? Do we all use things around us to make ourselves feel better? Or is that just me?

The latte yesterday was GREAT. I sat there, alone, able to journal through my thoughts, read, listen to my i-pod, I left that coffee shop a happy and refreshed woman.

Then I walked through my door. Nobody took their needed naps. My husband had bad news about work and the location of his next bridge project. The plan for dinner wouldn’t work because it didn’t thaw in time. I looked around, took it all in, saw the laundry scattered throughout the room, smelled a diaper needing a change, felt the sweet little hands tugging at my coat, noticed the baby snot that was all over both my shoulders and had been there the whole time I merrily chatted everyone up at the coffee shop, and I felt like crying.

So then what, do I leave again? Request another two hours of solitude to re-energize me to face this new set of problems? How do you engage with your day when it is hard?

This is my question for the year, how will I find contentment, apart from “retail therapy” or whatever pick-me up's I am used to choosing? 

(I fully endorse buying new clothes and latte's, Nordstroms and Starbucks FOREVER and I will remain faithful to them no matter what, Amen).

Hello, I am cheating right now

Hi there, just wanted to show a little picture of me breaking my spending fast and I am blissful about it because for the first time in 3 months I am well-caffeinated!

Today it is 28 degrees in Iowa, snowing, my son is teething, I am potty training my daughter, and when my husband got home, from doing Heaven knows what, I was hiding under the high-chair eating puppy chow. I grabbed my bag, said, "See ya sucka!" and headed to the coffee shop. If somewhere with wine was open, I would be there right now.

This is the Case of the Monday's selfie I took this morning and sent to my ever-sympathetic mother.

Anyways, since all-y'all are my accountability, I just wanted to keep up with my whole transparency thing.

I explained (to a very patient barista) the spending fast and how I was considering breaking it via the purchase of a hot beverage and did she think it counted as cheating if my husband reimburses me later then it'd be like he bought it for me and oh, did they make latte's with almond milk? Yes? I'll take a double, add caramel, add whip, please!

Thanks for all your support. I am weak. Who knows what wild acts of treason I will commit tomorrow if my children keep crying and the weather keeps being oh-so-Iowa in the Springtime!

My Struggle with Generosity

Hubby has one of the most generous hearts I have known. One year instead of receiving any gifts, he gave a family in need a Christmas. He thinks of others often and then he does something about it.

Here he is working on a house with A'mor Ministries in Tijuana (that is me on the far left, clearly having no idea how to hold a hammer)

We are blessed to be a blessing (Genesis 12:1-2), this is what the Scriptures that I seek to live by say. I am very good at blessing myself. If you look at where my money goes, I love myself more than anybody else in the world and the proof is right there on my bank statement.

I am a crier, a friend and I were just e-mailing this week and she said she is "an emotional being." Amen sister! I love that.

I cried during the entire 2014 Winter Olympics. Every time I heard a story about an athlete over-coming great odds to achieve their goal (aka, an Olympian) I would bawl. Those commercials about the mothers wiping their little snowboarders' cuts and bruises? The tears flowed. I barely watch television, read books, or scroll through a blog without weeping.

So my connection to people in need is emotional but with little follow-through. I see the need, I feel the need, but I do not actually meet anyone's needs because I am too busy crying in the corner about all the sadness in the world. I feel all the feelings then move on to the next issue.

Thankfully, we have people in our life reminding us there are many, MANY, less fortunate than us. But then comes up my next personal roadblock to generosity, I am a distracted creature. There are times I have listened to a speaker or a sermon and have felt that nudge, that deep stirring leading me to know this person or cause needs our money. Then I leave the room and forget. The letter requesting funds gets buried under another letter. I say to Mike, "Have you prayed about that, should we give to them?" And we keep having the same conversation for a few days until nobody asks the questions and we both move on. I know this happens in other households first-hand. I raised over $100k when I worked for Campus Outreach. Most people did not maliciously deny me funding, they simply forgot. Being outside of that sphere, I am now the 'forgetter.'

This quote from Hotel Rwanda directly applies to me, I think about it often.

It is in reference to Hutu extremists killing over 800,000 of their fellow Tutsi citizens, over the span of 100 days, in 1994:

Paul (Rwandan hotel owner and humanitarian): I am glad you have shot this footage and that the world will see it. It is the only way we have a chance that people might intervene.

Jack (the journalist): Yeah, and if no one intervenes, is it still a good thing to show?

Paul: How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?

Jack: I think if people see this footage they'll say, "Oh my God that's horrible," and then go on eating their dinners.

This way of living has made Hubby and I very ineffective in furthering the Kingdom of God and in meeting the needs of the poor and desperate. We shop for new bedding, while people live without shelter. I buy my daughter designer shoes, while other mothers can't feed their babies. It bothers me that I spend so much money on my wants while others go without their needs. 

We love World Vision, they are doing awesome things!

Please don't feel guilty if you are like me, but ask God to make room in your heart, space in your life to notice what changes your generosity could make. We are our brother's keeper.

During the spending fast, I am realizing that removing something from my life is not enough. What will I put in the place of shopping? Will it be spending money on my children? Will it be food? Will it be great vacations? I hoped to see a change in my lack of generosity this year. And slowly, I have. I have been saying yes to those who have asked of my time and my money, and it has been a true joy.

Financially, it is easier to say "yes" to needs that come our way when there is room in our budget to do so. We always set aside a set amount each month to give away, but then if an additional need arises, we often cannot meet it because the flex money we have has already been spent on silly things I found on Pinterest!

Mike and I discussed a few different things last night. My brother is spending his college Spring Break floating down the Amazon River delivering medical supplies. Our dear friends' father is in the hospital. We did what we always do, talked over our thoughts as we loaded the dishwasher, got the kids ready for bed, and settled on the couch to watch tv. Then we did something we don't usually do. We turned off the tv and we prayed. We prayed for our friends, our families and our children.  

God, please help us be generous with our money, our time, our blessings.

Picture of Manaus, Brazil one of the places my brother stopped

Elaborate Birthday Parties & the Spending Fast

Good morning! It has been hard to write this week as I have been managing a new business called "Taking Care of my Friends' Kids." Since it is Spring Break, several of the day-care providers in town are closed. One gal is expecting a baby and needed to get her feet professionally rubbed on a daily basis so I took care of her one-year-old. My awesome farm-wife-friend had to load out hogs with her husband (this is a real thing, we're in rural Iowa folks!) They know I stay home and love a little chaos, so most of my waking hours this week I had between 5 and 7 toddlers, ages 3 and under. That took care of my baby fix as well as my "wouldn't it be so fun to have a big family" fix.

We had "circle time" where we read books and sang songs together. This meant Lou held the book and screamed "My book, my caterpillar, Louie no more share!" while all the other children quickly crawled away. Pictures of children are often a farse, nothing is as precious as it seems!

I've had several different thoughts swirling around and wrote one silly long post but decided instead to break each thought into its own post. So, hurray! There will be a post every day through the next week.

It is so funny to me that by not spending any money on myself (it has been 80 days!) I find ways to channel that spending love into other nonsense. It is like the gopher game at the arcade where you smack one down and another pops up. For example, Mack's first birthday is coming up and I have had to  hold myself back in every way possible. At one point, my Amazon shopping cart had over $200 worth of chevron paper products, giant number '1' shaped balloons, crepe paper, cake toppers, cookie cutters, and 15 Bambi golden books as party favors (the intended theme was, "Our little deer is turning one!")

Source

Kids' birthday parties are hard for me. You want your child to feel so loved and adored and special on their birthday. So you think of some ideas that fit with your child's personality, start brainstorming, and then turn to Pinterest to make all your creativity a reality. And before you know it, your little dreams of children running around your balloon filled house eating cupcakes has turned into a made from scratch 8 layer cake and a decorated bathroom to "keep the theme consistent" even though most of your guests are still in diapers. Not that I am speaking from personal experience... So over the past two years, I have found that birthday throwing is not my forte.

The Holy Grail of birthday party throwing, the elusive "Rainbow Cake"

Lou's 1st Birthday, where I cooked 3 entree's, a dozen sides, 4 desserts, and made my husband crazy

I LOVE the thought and heart behind themed birthday parties- but alas, I am an idea person and making these things a reality causes intense stress on my life. The planning stage is incredibly fun, the execution is terrible and I take my whole family down with me. For me, throwing a birthday party (granted, my kids are young, young, young!) becomes more about me impressing others than about me blessing my child with a special day. I am just messed up like that.

So birthday parties are now on my list of things I do not do.

Please people, especially us perfectionist ladies, make yourself a list of things you do not do. I keep mine in my phone, just in case I find myself at Home Depot with a cart full of plants and potting soil and a book called Growing Hydragenas God's Way.

Here is my list: (I've included a few things I do like, for confidence building purposes)

I like to cook.

I do not like to clean.

I do not garden.

I do not host dinner parties.

I start furniture projects and sometimes, I complete them.

I do not throw elaborate, themed birthday parties for my husband or children.

I listen to mix cd's in my car.

I do not train animals.

I do not dress my children in ornate, matching outfits for holidays.

I do not scrapbook nor keep any record of my children's lives other than my memory and what is in my i-phone.

Proof of the list:

This is a work in progress. I am months away from turning thirty and am in a season of learning about who I am and where I am heading in life... after spending three decades knowing NEITHER of these things. I have found that it is very important for me to recognize what I love, what makes me thrive as a person and to learn that, I must also acknowledge what makes me want to curl up into a little ball and hide under a blanket. Having a list is a quick reference when I get carried away and try to be good at everything.

100% this concept comes from the wonderful book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest. Shauna is a truth teller and a gracious one at that, the greatest combination there ever was. Please read this and feel a little more at rest with who you are... and who you are not.

"It’s brutal, making the list of Things I Don’t Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I’ve discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I’m tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I’ll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being."

Thank you Shauna, and may I add: it is also important when making a list to put a period at the end of each item and give a little head nod when you read it aloud. That makes each thing official and permanent. When I read my list, it makes me relax and sigh and remember, oh yes, I am just Ally and I do not have to do it all.

In learning what I do not do, it is important for me to recognize that I am an extremely excitable person. People get me worked up and talked into just about anything. My husband knows this about me and often takes advantage of it. Like the time he convinced to get a six-week-old coonhound puppy (the kind that 'bay' which is a loud, howling sound. Our neighbor from 5 houses down brought us a bark collar "just in case we needed it").

We hope Gus is doing well since he began his new life on the farm we sent him to

This all was when our daughter was also six-weeks-old... and I DIDN'T EVEN WANT A DOG. I vowed never to be talked into doing things like that again when I was 35 weeks pregnant, carrying a one-year-old on my hip, locked out of my house wearing my bath robe, and chasing that 80 lb "puppy" around our neighborhood, shouting expletives and throwing dog food from my pockets at 7 am. Bless it. It was then that I added "I do not train animals" to my list.

Anyways, it is possible to have a simple, inexpensive birthday party, I've heard, and we will be trying this experiment next weekend. I have not yet given my friends their invitations (also known as a text message with the place and time) so there is a chance no one will even be able to come.

I am not judging people who throw beautiful birthday parties for their children because there are those out there who are gifted in this area, it is on their "can do" list. It's true, I have met them. My friend Abby started planning her son's first birthday party when she was pregnant and had the house decorated for over two weeks before it started. There were water bottles with his name on them, it was amazing. This is one her things, it gives her life, makes her more of who she is. We had such a sweet time celebrating her son turning one. I love and appreciate that about her, and try very hard not to feel bad about myself for being different.

Part of why I wish I loved party-planning is that I want to make the people who come into my home feel loved, but I have yet to do this because usually by the time they arrive I am angry at them being there because I've been fighting with my husband over who has done the most to get the house suitable and the food prepared and suddenly nothing is fun anymore and nobody feels welcome. But I really want to keep trying in this area and hope that one day I can add to my list: "I make people feel welcome in my home" and also the goal of my marriage which is "My husband and I do not fight before company comes."

It is fun to plan parties and distracting from all the boring hum-drum of daily life and is also a reason to vacuum my carpets. But it is not a reason to spend $200 on chevron paper plates.

I adore Mack and want his birthday to be special. He is the best surprise I've ever received. I love a good celebration and what is better than planning a little party for this sweet face?

Katie Evans Photography

I cannot wait to share with you how it turns out.

Puerto Rico on a Spending Fast

Here we are in happier, warmer times.

I wish I could give every married couple I know a week away like this. And to my sweet friends with stressful jobs and busy babies, I would give them two weeks.

On vacation, it was easy not to spend money on myself because all the BEST things- sun, sand, trees, blue sky, ocean, sleep, were free (less the cost of airfare, and accommodations... details, details)

But in getting ready for the vacation, I had to create several loopholes in the following areas:

1. Clothes (that fit). This was tough because certain body parts have been redistributed after having two children in two years. The areas you would like smaller tend to widen, and the areas you would like bigger sadly shrink (or maybe a better word is 'deflate?') This creates a need for new swimsuits and shorts, in the least. BUT, thankfully I never throw anything out, so out of the twelve swimsuits I own, I tried them all on and three fit. I called up my friend Katie and borrowed shorts so phew, we didn't have to cancel the trip.

The biggest difference in how I prepared for this trip, was actually going through old boxes of spring and summer clothes and trying everything on. It turns out I have a decent warm weather wardrobe! I just forgot because I spent all last summer in a spit-up induced daze wearing the same gym shorts and tank top. I did pack more accessories than I usually would and since I rarely dress up, the clothes I brought felt as fun and special as new ones would. Had I been able to, I would have bought more than just sunscreen but it was a fun experience to not focus on acquiring new items but enjoying the ones I already owned.

2. Books. I am an avid reader and given a few uninterrupted hours, I will sit down with a book before doing anything else. I knew this would be one of the biggest struggles in my spending fast. But again, simple- I borrowed! I found two in my mom's bedroom and grabbed one from my friend Sam when we got to Puerto Rico. They might not have been my first choice but once I started in, each caught and held my attention.

I read this in its entirety on the plane ride to San Juan and bawled like a baby! It was wonderful.

I have enjoyed every one of her books, she is a great writer. 

This was my first Nicholas Sparks book and it was good. 

Sam also brought lots of magazines so I didn't feel deprived at all!

3. Mani-Pedi. My dad is the KING of coupons. So when we decided to drive to Naperville a day early because of a pending snow storm, I called him and YES, of course he had a random gift card to a salon AND a coupon to buy a pedicure and get a manicure free. So I was able to snag both at no charge to myself, thanks Dad!

I took cash out of Hubby''s wallet to pay the tip. QUESTIONABLE. Better to not think too hard about that one.

We simply had a wonderful time.

The resort lost our reservation, we did not freak out at them, and in return they upgraded us to a villa with our own private pool, is this real life?! We would really recommend staying here, the Gran Melia in Rio Grande.

It truly was easy not to shop. I would have given the chance as there were several malls close by. But since I couldn't buy myself anything, why even go? The one thing I would have bought were some neat bracelets like these that we found that were made by local women...

Instead, I have managed to keep my resort id bracelet on, it looks a little trendy and is a free souvenir. Here I am still wearing it a week later...

When we flew out of O'Hare, my suit-case weighed 46.5 lbs, when we flew out of San Juan, exactly 46.5 lbs! Usually on the return flight, I have to pass off things to Hubby to meet the 50 lb weight limit, it was nice to avoid that chaotic moment as well as the argument that goes along with it!

I ran from the car into my mom's house to see our little ones. I walked in and they both started crying-- for Dada! Little Lou literally ran right past me like I was invisible, and as soon as I picked up Mack- he reached for Dada too! Ungrateful! But now they are making up for it with lots of snuggles and little bursts of anxiety every time I leave the room.

Vacation was great, but home is great too. So grateful to be able to say that.

**Waiting in our mailbox was the Nordstrom Spring catalog, a little voice in my head said, "Don't you even look!" But in a weak moment, I grabbed it and a cup of coffee and hid in the closet. Look what I found, eek! Somebody else buy and rock these pretties, I love Toms and Jonathan Adler, such great patterns!**

My Tips for Spending a Ridiculous Amount of Money at the Grocery Store

Just in case you were starting to think we had it all together over at Casa de Ally, here is a reality check. First of all, I do not want anyone to feel guilty reading this blog. There is a 99.9% chance you are more disciplined in spending than I am; therefore, you do not need to do a year long fast to keep you away from buying yet another striped shirt. Secondly, yes we are on a spending fast when it comes to many items but we are still ALL IN when it comes to the grocery store.

I see posts all the time about how people are getting cash back using coupons, cutting their bill in half while still shopping organic, and even one  blogger who grocery shops once a month (and her family of four lives off 14,000 a year and paid cash for their house and cars, amazing!). These people have it TOGETHER. They are blessing their families with their wisdom and planning. They are the ones that are making us feel guilty. Don't put me in that camp!

When I told Hubby that I was going to not spend money on myself for a year, HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE. He said, "Okay... but when are you going to start cutting back on groceries? " Seriously.

We have talks all the time about what the grocery budget really is. And I have no idea! It is wild.

We are starting Financial Peace University at our church, and one of the questions this past week was: "Where does most of your money go, that you wish it didn't?" Many people said they were paying off a car they hated, school loans, their homes, kids college... My answer? Walmart! Hy-vee! Fareway! Trader Joes! Whole Foods! Cost-Co! I give it all to them. Every week.

Here are my tips for spending an asinine amount of money at the grocery store:

1. Don't use coupons, ever.
I love to look at coupons when they come in the mail. I try to find coupons for things I regularly buy. "Oooh, look, that's my brand of toilet paper- right there! It made it into the paper!" Then I cut it out. Of course it can't be used for a few days because of the date in fine print. So I carefully set it on the counter. Then I carefully set a pile of mail on top of it. Then on top of that I set a dirty napkin. And later a few crayons and a banana peel. Then by the time I throw it all out... the coupon has expired- shoot! Happens every week.

2. Meal plan.
This seemed like the gateway step into being a mother and wife of excellence. When I started casually mentioning that I meal plan around my friends, they sounded very impressed. "Yes girls, I make a list of all the meals we're having this week. Then sometimes we eat them. I am amazing." But apparently this is a budget buster. Because when I grocery shop, I am shopping for things that are on my list, NOT things that are on sale that week. The real domestic divas meal plan based on what is in the grocery ad or what they already have on hand.

3. Have everyone in your house follow a different diet.
Following a grain, sugar and dairy free diet helps me deal with my variety of GI and auto-immune issues. So I make all my food from scratch, out of necessity. I am not bragging about this, in fact I find it rather depressing (and incredibly time consuming!). There are definitely worse things, but there are better things too- like being able to eat mozzarella sticks. Through trial and error, we learned that Lou doesn't digest wheat well so we try to keep her gluten-free. My hubby is on a heavy-dairy, high fat, bacon-diet and he eats like a teenager in a growth spurt. Our 9 month old Mack is vegan.

4. Have your husband grocery shop occasionally. 
This is self-explanatory. He buys ridiculous things. The best part is when he comes home and explains each purchase and why he's so excited about it... "See this jar of pickles? It is the right kind, not the wrong kind." Whatever.

5. Bring your children with you to the grocery store. 
Mack still rides in his infant car seat so he rides in the base of the shopping cart, then Lou sits facing me in the toddler seat. So where do the groceries go? On my arms. I literally wear them all. I bring my bags: one for produce, one for meat, one for dairy, and one for packaged goods. I used to pack things around Mack but stopped when he started choking on a green onion in Trader Joes. Embarrassing. But actually, it is all embarrassing so I do not make eye-contact with anyone in the grocery store while I am doing this. And I know I buy more than I should because I am completely frazzled.

6. Try to feed your family healthy, nutritious things that don't come in a box.
If we didn't have food allergies in our house, we would eat Kraft Mac and Cheese, hot dogs, and chicken nuggets every night. I do not kid, and then we would use all the extra money we saved to go to Disney World.

7. Don't make a grocery list, just make it in your head when you're on your way there. 
I lose my list in between my house and the store so I end up making a mental list. Then I forget it, and frantically hustle through the aisles once Lou starts pointing and yelling "I'M HUNGRY FOR THAT" or "SUCKER, PLEASE!" (they hand them out at the check-out, which she is well aware of).  

So now you know. I am especially imperfect. All joking aside, I really would like to grow in this area now that we moved and are no longer close to a Whole Foods (who can save money with guacamole that good?!).

I would love any advice and tips of how others are saving money on groceries, do I need one of those accordion files to keep my coupons in? Is anyone really doing that?!

All Things Turquoise

I am starting to miss one of my favorite things: buying furniture! Thanks to online tutorials and Annie Sloan chalk paint, I have found a love for refinishing different pieces.

This desk was for sale locally for $50. We "need" a small desk like this, I definitely would have bought it to paint!

And right now we are without a headboard, I passed on this one created from an old door- so cool!

I typically paint one piece a month. It is a great outlet and an easy way to do something mindless and creative during the babes' nap time. This little table sits in our dining room and was one of my first projects:

Our old house had lots of space so there was pretty much endless room for whatever nonsense (<-says hubby) I was working on. Now we are waiting to find out where Hubby's next bridge project will be, so we are in a small rental. This has been hard and good for the soul for many reasons. We can't update or do any projects on the home itself so that part of my brain is turned off (our last home we bought we did many renovations) and since we will likely move soon, there is no point in acquiring more things to haul across the state. This fast is well timed for sure.

I bought this trunk for only $35, it is so well-made and beautiful! I still need to seal it but it will make a great piece to put at the foot of the bed, use as a bench (as my model shows!), or even as a tv stand. It holds all our extra bedding.

 

Since I cannot buy more of my beloved chalk paint, this has to last all year. The paint is expensive (about $30 per quart) but will cover several pieces of furniture. I also have a few samples I can use. Each sample is $12 and will cover something the size of end table. I love how this paint goes on, it is so smooth, is low VOC, and dries quickly. I can literally start and finish a piece in one nap!

Mack & Ryker, can't you feel the love?

Last weekend was Ryker's 1st birthday, he's Mack's BFF. I met Abby shortly after we moved to our new town. I loved her immediately. She is due with her second baby next month and our two children will both be 14 months apart. There is a certain level of crazy that comes with having kids that close together and it is so sweet to have someone in the ringer with me.

I was sick this fall and Abby watched the babes so I could go to the doctor, made us meals, helped us move (Sister even threw out our old toiletbrush- that's a life-long friend right there), and prayed for me whenever I needed it. So needless to say, I wanted to do something special for Ryker for his first birthday. I never remember to take 'before' pictures but this rocking chair was a light oak before I painted it in Annie Sloan Florence.

I wasn't sure if Ryker would enjoy it until he was a little older but bubby climbed right in and started rocking like a pro.

Isn't he the cutest?!

Have you ever tried Annie Sloan chalk paint? This paint is amazing and binds to any surface. The only prep required is a little soap and water to clean your piece, no sanding needed! I usually use polyurethane as a sealer for any piece that is dark in color (poly noticeably yellows over time and isn't good over white paint) and Annie Sloan's wax over lighter pieces.

You-tube has been great for giving me tutorials like this one.

This was a metal filing cabinet. I used one coat of Florence and then cut some fabric I had and used fabric glue to attach it to the drawers.

Bada-bing-bada-boom!

I will miss buying new craft products this year but have a lot I can do with the little paint I have left and I have all kinds of crazy things sitting in the garage that I can work on. Homegirl loves a good project but it always seems better and easier in my head than real life so things rarely get finished! Hubby thinks this is the worst hobby in the world, and I forgot to mention he is so OVER turquoise. After I purchased all turquoise appliances, he specifically asked that we eliminate the shade from our house and even went as far as to forbid me to paint any of our walls that color. So I have found a loophole by slowly painting all the furniture we already have. The truth is- he barely notices anyways. He talks a big game but I think he knows how the color really brings out the blue in his eyes.

Thanks for stopping by, all the support I've received from this little endeavor has made me feel so loved and has brought a ton of encouragement. Who knew that not buying things would help me reconnect with old friends and even meet new ones? So grateful.