4 Major differences in Preparing for the 3rd Baby

My hubby and I are crazy fools and we really, really love being parents. I type this as both my children scream from their rooms during "nap time" so obviously it is not the ease and grace of parenting which cause us to delight in our roles as Mom and Dad. We decided to have a third baby for lots of reasons but the biggest one is that the pros of child rearing always, always, always outweigh any con that we might think of (or experience on a daily/hourly basis).

Now, we're not Catholic so having a baby every 1-2 years is not an indefinite thing to us, but we love seeing our family grow and take bringing a child into the world very seriously-- even though I love to say, "Who is allowing us to make decisions like this? It's insane!" when I am asked (often) if we will have more after this one. I can't believe this is a decision we are entrusted to make especially as we tend to err on the irresponsible side of life: i.e. remember that time we bought a puppy when our daughter was 6-weeks-old? Or how we have moved twice while I was in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy? And today for lunch I ate an entire box of assorted macaroons from Trader Joe's so I am obviously not the wisest among women.

When preparing for this little child to come into the world-- any day now says the doctor, likely I will have to wait another four weeks says Twisted Fate-- there are a bunch of differences between this pregnancy and my first. Any mom would surely agree!

For kicks and giggles (and to escape from aforementioned screaming children) here are a few to share that have been on my mind.

1. Weight gain:

1st Pregnancy-- When I was pregnant with Emmy Lou, I obsessed over how much weight I was gaining. I felt totally out of control watching my body grow-- although if I had stopped eating onion rings and milkshakes EVERY SINGLE DAY I might have felt more at ease. I weighed myself each morning and constantly told my friends how I was doing and asked people if I should worry about how big I was. When I got to the doctor's office for my check-up, I would take off my shoes and coat to make sure they weren't getting faulty information that could cause concern.

2nd pregnancy-- I kept losing weight in the 3rd trimester because Mike worked out of town 6 days a week and we were moving to a new town with a sweet toddler in tow. I felt super stressed and when it was all said and done, ended up gaining half as much as my 1st pregnancy.

3rd pregnancy-- Where is the scale? Did we leave it at the old house along with that 36 inch tube TV? The night before my doctor appointments, I sit on the couch eating nachos joking to Mike that I am gearing up for my "weigh-in" the next day. Weight gain rarely crosses my mind, and when I step on the scale the nurse usually has to remind me to put down one of the two children that are tagging along with me (is there anything more fun than bringing two toddlers to the OB office?)

I think I took this picture around 12 weeks

...and this is like, the next day. You grow really fast with your 3rd!
(jk, it's today, and the stain on my shirt is sour cream from the Taquitos I just ate) 

2. Nursery prep:

1st pregnancy-- we were so precious. I am pretty sure I threatened Mike's life to make sure he had that crib set-up by the time I was 20 weeks. As soon as we found out the baby's gender, I sighed with relief that I could now move forward with the carefully assembled Pinterest Board I had in place. There were many nights spent by the sewing machine (as I stood over my mom's shoulder, shouting fabric placement commands at her like a Martha Stewart Nazi) and searching online for the perfect coordinating curtains.

Here I am, in the lovely room where my child went to resist sleep

2nd pregnancy-- we used some things we found around the house to give Mack's room a country western/hunting/fishing/chevron theme. A few months after he was born, we moved again into a townhouse so the beloved child slept in a walk-in closet inside a pack n' play for 6 months.

3rd pregnancy-- here is the beautiful nursery which also duels as the room where we air out our hockey equipment (I bet you $1,000 my husband has more hobbies than yours!)

I hope I finish doing laundry before the baby comes so it has a place to sleep. There is no crib because I learned my lesson after the first two that it is so much easier to keep them next to you for as long as possible to prevent having to actually get out of bed in the middle of the night (the baby and I will sleep here for a couple weeks before joining Daddy in our room across the hall. Life is so much better if one of us is rested! And the man works 12 hour days, don't judge him :)

Again, we used things from around the house to decorate. If the baby is a boy, I'll turn those pottery farm animals around so you can't see the porcelain lace. Since this ain't my first rodeo, I am tuned into the reality that this room is basically a 12 x 12 space for our new off-spring to cry, poop, and nurse around the clock. Keeping it real!

The only new purchase was the dresser-- when I told my husband we needed one he said, "Can't you just use a duffle bag or something? Baby clothes are really tiny and don't take up a lot of room." I stared at him for a long time thinking to myself, "This man seriously needs to do more laundry."

3. Baby gear:

1st pregnancy-- buy it all! Research every item! E-mail all my friends who are moms-- then make them come with me to the store! Obsess over registry!

2nd pregnancy-- you've learned your lesson that the baby will probably hate that $300 swing. Sell it on Craigslist and use the money to stock up on diapers and onesies, the only two things you really need!

3rd pregnancy-- "Who is bringing me food and do I have enough yoga pants to make it through the Winter?" Seriously, all I care about is having a stocked freezer and comfy clothes. I have figured out that these children are not going to be taking care of me anytime soon so it's every man for himself around here. Anything else we are missing, I will send Mike to get at Walmart on our way home from the hospital.

4. Delivery:

1st pregnancy-- I literally sobbed on the floor when I realized I would have to get the baby out of my body. I begged God to intervene. I read several books, interviewed Midwives via skype, and had a LEGIT birth plan-- the core of it being that my mother was to bring me a turkey sandwich because I read that the doctors don't let you eat during delivery (*which did not matter because a. Emmy Lou came too fast and my mom didn't make it in time b. I threw up with Every.Single.Contraction). One of my biggest fears was that I would forget to tell the delivering doctor I did not want an episiotomy, or that during labor I would be unable to pronounce the word "episiotomy."

2nd pregnancy-- Please let the baby come out quickly and let my husband make it on time to see him born (here is Mack's birth story).

3rd pregnancy-- I can't wait to stay in the hospital and have a break from my adorable other children. I just hope I deliver while there is a Jimmy John's open so I can have a sandwich right away when I'm done (<-- a serious common theme in this post/my life).

Some quick similarities:

1. I still google EVERYTHING, all day long.

2. Every night when Mike gets home from work, I give him the full recap of what my body has been doing that day-- he loves it! "Let's have more children soon." he says!

3. I worry, worry, worry about the delivery, and not just the food aspect. I am praying that:

Mike makes it on time (he is about 1 hour and 40 minutes from the hospital) 

That I get to the hospital quickly and safely (I am also 40 minutes away, because we're dramatic like that) 

The baby is healthy, healthy, healthy! Sicko Internet is always telling me sad stories and I read them and cry-- and then Facebook targeted advertising shows me more sad stories. Vicious cycle! As always, I will be amazed if God chooses to give us the gift of another sweet baby. 

In some ways, I am even more excited to have this baby because we don't know the gender, and I know how wonderful it is to have an infant and raise a child!

**PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: if you are out of your mind like myself, and are in discussion about going from 2 children to 3, I don't know anything about that but I can tell you to take the pregnancy part seriously (probably a big DUH to most people). But I genuinely thought pregnancy was something you progressively got "better" at. This is a FALSITY. It gets much harder no matter how you breezed through the first two pregnancies, get ready because your third might be a bit of a...doozy. Nobody warned me, I started asking around about 12 weeks in and all the 3+ mamas said, "AMEN."

Suuuuch a long post, the littles finally fell asleep and I am avoiding "some" dishes in the kitchen.

Spring Closet Cleaning: The Good, The Bad, and The Very Ugly

Spring! You came!

So loving these warm days. It changes everything.

Unlike the rest of you, I have dreaded the clothing shift this weather brings and have fiercely avoided the mall, my usual magazines, Pinterest, and even the clothing section at the Target- lest I be tempted!

When the Spending Fast started, I knew in the back of my mind the transitions to both Spring and Fall would be hard for me. These are my two favorite times of year to shop. Typically I make a list of items I want and think that I need, and thoroughly enjoy buying them. 

This year to keep things interesting, I got all my Rubbermaid bins of next season clothes out from the garage. First of all, it is shocking to see the amount of clothing I have when you add in the t-shirts, gym shorts, summer pajama's (because I'm an eighty-year-old woman trapped in a thirty-year-old body) light-colored jeans, swim suits, blouses, tanks and sundresses- oh my!

Last Spring I had a baby, so I stuck to yoga pants 90% of the time.

The Spring before that, I had just had a baby, also yoga pants.

So there was a lot of sorting and trying on to do. And most of it does not fit! At a certain point in the past two years, I began to feel frustrated at having a closet full of clothes that were too small. For some reason, it did not dawn on me that I would not alllwwwaaayyys be pregnant, so I gave all the small clothes away! 6 months of GI problems and a major diet change (due to food allergies) later, hello, not much fits. Not having a baby growing inside of you makes it possible to wiggle back into some of those old clothes. Duh! I should've thought of that.

But even though I cut my wardrobe in half each time we moved, and probably need to cut it in half again to keep things appropriate (i.e. shorts that stay up) I still have more than enough to get by on. And it makes me glad to be in the midst of a spending fast this Spring to give these clothes one last chance. Many people follow the "If you haven't worn it in a year, give it away" rule. I support that and follow the same rule, my only difference is I keep things for 10 years before giving them away. Just so I can see the full life-cycle of that blouse or pair of pants, and things really do come back in style... I think. But I am not exactly a fashionista so don't take my word for it. Some of these clothes below are definitely cutting it close. This is their last summer! These pictures are some of my findings. And of course, whenever a picture of me is involved, great deal of awkwardness is to be seen as well.

I will never look comfortable in photographs. Holding a child helps me feel most like myself these days. As does wearing my sneaks (a cool way to say tennis shoes). But as you can tell, I did read somewhere that you're supposed to put your hands on your hips so every time I thought to do that, I immediately did.

Here are some of the good things I found...

A chambray shirt by Halogen

A cotton dress by French Connection (It hits just above the knees)

Crochet blouse from Target, printed shorts by J. Crew

My favorite t-shirt and chino skirt, both by J. Crew

Below is my bad list. Not because these items are inherently awful, they could work great in someone else's closet (except the printed overalls, ain't nobody gonna make those look good). But like most of the clothes I own, I do not wear them! My wardrobe mainly consists of things that I buy because they look 'fun.' I do not er on the side of practicality. I have lots of 'going out' types but they totally don't line up with my Walmart wine drinking and Redbox movie renting lifestyle. For running errands, taking the kids to the park, and play dates, I almost always wear a plain cotton shirt, jeans, tennis shoes or TOMS, and a fleece pull-over. On date night it's usually a button-up shirt and cowboy boots, and to church sometimes I get crazy and will layer things and even add a piece of jewelry. This Spring and Summer we have lots of weddings to attend but my wedding outfit M.O is to blend in, not stand out-- except for when I was pregnant and decided to get freaky and rock green metallic:

Sorry about the orb in the background, and shout out to Abby, the pretty girl on my right who gets married this month!

But this is not, and never shall be a fashion blog. Mostly because of my fierce commitment to the jean and sneaker combo (that I refuse to apologize for). My friend Heath and her sister Mary Keller do a beautiful job writing about their closet rebuilding (among other classy things) on their blog Southland Avenue. In February they posted about the simplicity of the French Five, a challenge to build your wardrobe only buying five items each season, so ten pieces per year. According to the method, the best items are simple ones. By doing this Spending Fast, I am forced to really examine what I own instead of focusing on acquiring more. When I really look at my closet, I see a lot of trendy (past trends, all past!) because these are the items that to me, are appealing to buy. But on a daily basis, these clothes are not practical nor comfortable and I am not drawn to wear them which is why for years I am constantly saying, "I have nothing to wear" because what I really mean is, "I have nothing comfortable to wear" because who is really feeling comfortable in sequins and floral party dresses?

I wear this number every year on New Year's Eve

Lou and Mack would look really under dressed if I wore this to take them to Toddler Time at the library

Oh you didn't buy yourself a pair of Lily Pulitzer overalls in college? Yes, that's right, butterflies and lime green were all the rage in South Carolina. Not! These beauties have been siting in my closet for 10 years

My party dress, holding on to this one just in case we get invited to an 80's mixer

This is more my style. My favorite t-shirt I own. Jerry Seinfeld had a yellow lucky shirt that he called "Golden Boy." I call this baby, "Old Red." My grandma's best friend gave it to me. I wore it to asthma camp so it brings back some very dear memories. 

I think I will be trying the French Five starting in January 2015. I think it's a great way to keep things simple and prevent hoarding. Number 1 on my list is the perfect white t-shirt.

Please share with me some of your favorite Spring items! Do they carry over from season to season or do they birth and die out a few weeks later like my butterfly overalls?

Thanks Abby Jane for taking these pictures! (not pictured are our four children crawling around at my feet)

Elaborate Birthday Parties & the Spending Fast

Good morning! It has been hard to write this week as I have been managing a new business called "Taking Care of my Friends' Kids." Since it is Spring Break, several of the day-care providers in town are closed. One gal is expecting a baby and needed to get her feet professionally rubbed on a daily basis so I took care of her one-year-old. My awesome farm-wife-friend had to load out hogs with her husband (this is a real thing, we're in rural Iowa folks!) They know I stay home and love a little chaos, so most of my waking hours this week I had between 5 and 7 toddlers, ages 3 and under. That took care of my baby fix as well as my "wouldn't it be so fun to have a big family" fix.

We had "circle time" where we read books and sang songs together. This meant Lou held the book and screamed "My book, my caterpillar, Louie no more share!" while all the other children quickly crawled away. Pictures of children are often a farse, nothing is as precious as it seems!

I've had several different thoughts swirling around and wrote one silly long post but decided instead to break each thought into its own post. So, hurray! There will be a post every day through the next week.

It is so funny to me that by not spending any money on myself (it has been 80 days!) I find ways to channel that spending love into other nonsense. It is like the gopher game at the arcade where you smack one down and another pops up. For example, Mack's first birthday is coming up and I have had to  hold myself back in every way possible. At one point, my Amazon shopping cart had over $200 worth of chevron paper products, giant number '1' shaped balloons, crepe paper, cake toppers, cookie cutters, and 15 Bambi golden books as party favors (the intended theme was, "Our little deer is turning one!")

Source

Kids' birthday parties are hard for me. You want your child to feel so loved and adored and special on their birthday. So you think of some ideas that fit with your child's personality, start brainstorming, and then turn to Pinterest to make all your creativity a reality. And before you know it, your little dreams of children running around your balloon filled house eating cupcakes has turned into a made from scratch 8 layer cake and a decorated bathroom to "keep the theme consistent" even though most of your guests are still in diapers. Not that I am speaking from personal experience... So over the past two years, I have found that birthday throwing is not my forte.

The Holy Grail of birthday party throwing, the elusive "Rainbow Cake"

Lou's 1st Birthday, where I cooked 3 entree's, a dozen sides, 4 desserts, and made my husband crazy

I LOVE the thought and heart behind themed birthday parties- but alas, I am an idea person and making these things a reality causes intense stress on my life. The planning stage is incredibly fun, the execution is terrible and I take my whole family down with me. For me, throwing a birthday party (granted, my kids are young, young, young!) becomes more about me impressing others than about me blessing my child with a special day. I am just messed up like that.

So birthday parties are now on my list of things I do not do.

Please people, especially us perfectionist ladies, make yourself a list of things you do not do. I keep mine in my phone, just in case I find myself at Home Depot with a cart full of plants and potting soil and a book called Growing Hydragenas God's Way.

Here is my list: (I've included a few things I do like, for confidence building purposes)

I like to cook.

I do not like to clean.

I do not garden.

I do not host dinner parties.

I start furniture projects and sometimes, I complete them.

I do not throw elaborate, themed birthday parties for my husband or children.

I listen to mix cd's in my car.

I do not train animals.

I do not dress my children in ornate, matching outfits for holidays.

I do not scrapbook nor keep any record of my children's lives other than my memory and what is in my i-phone.

Proof of the list:

This is a work in progress. I am months away from turning thirty and am in a season of learning about who I am and where I am heading in life... after spending three decades knowing NEITHER of these things. I have found that it is very important for me to recognize what I love, what makes me thrive as a person and to learn that, I must also acknowledge what makes me want to curl up into a little ball and hide under a blanket. Having a list is a quick reference when I get carried away and try to be good at everything.

100% this concept comes from the wonderful book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest. Shauna is a truth teller and a gracious one at that, the greatest combination there ever was. Please read this and feel a little more at rest with who you are... and who you are not.

"It’s brutal, making the list of Things I Don’t Do, especially for someone like me, who refuses most of the time to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a limit to her personal ability to get things done. But I’ve discovered that the list sets me free. I have it written in black and white, sitting on my desk, and when I’m tempted to go rogue and bake muffins because all the other moms do, I come back to both lists, and I remind myself about the important things: that time is finite, as is energy. And that one day I’ll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being."

Thank you Shauna, and may I add: it is also important when making a list to put a period at the end of each item and give a little head nod when you read it aloud. That makes each thing official and permanent. When I read my list, it makes me relax and sigh and remember, oh yes, I am just Ally and I do not have to do it all.

In learning what I do not do, it is important for me to recognize that I am an extremely excitable person. People get me worked up and talked into just about anything. My husband knows this about me and often takes advantage of it. Like the time he convinced to get a six-week-old coonhound puppy (the kind that 'bay' which is a loud, howling sound. Our neighbor from 5 houses down brought us a bark collar "just in case we needed it").

We hope Gus is doing well since he began his new life on the farm we sent him to

This all was when our daughter was also six-weeks-old... and I DIDN'T EVEN WANT A DOG. I vowed never to be talked into doing things like that again when I was 35 weeks pregnant, carrying a one-year-old on my hip, locked out of my house wearing my bath robe, and chasing that 80 lb "puppy" around our neighborhood, shouting expletives and throwing dog food from my pockets at 7 am. Bless it. It was then that I added "I do not train animals" to my list.

Anyways, it is possible to have a simple, inexpensive birthday party, I've heard, and we will be trying this experiment next weekend. I have not yet given my friends their invitations (also known as a text message with the place and time) so there is a chance no one will even be able to come.

I am not judging people who throw beautiful birthday parties for their children because there are those out there who are gifted in this area, it is on their "can do" list. It's true, I have met them. My friend Abby started planning her son's first birthday party when she was pregnant and had the house decorated for over two weeks before it started. There were water bottles with his name on them, it was amazing. This is one her things, it gives her life, makes her more of who she is. We had such a sweet time celebrating her son turning one. I love and appreciate that about her, and try very hard not to feel bad about myself for being different.

Part of why I wish I loved party-planning is that I want to make the people who come into my home feel loved, but I have yet to do this because usually by the time they arrive I am angry at them being there because I've been fighting with my husband over who has done the most to get the house suitable and the food prepared and suddenly nothing is fun anymore and nobody feels welcome. But I really want to keep trying in this area and hope that one day I can add to my list: "I make people feel welcome in my home" and also the goal of my marriage which is "My husband and I do not fight before company comes."

It is fun to plan parties and distracting from all the boring hum-drum of daily life and is also a reason to vacuum my carpets. But it is not a reason to spend $200 on chevron paper plates.

I adore Mack and want his birthday to be special. He is the best surprise I've ever received. I love a good celebration and what is better than planning a little party for this sweet face?

Katie Evans Photography

I cannot wait to share with you how it turns out.

Making Space: Part 1

I have spent most of my life running behind, catching up, making excuses. Having kids has increased these things exponentially. 

Here are a few examples of my hurried, breathless lifestyle (all things I have thought were completely normal until I got married and someone pointed out to me that I am ridiculous). 

After months of frantic mornings, I finally started dressing my children in their clothes for the next day the night before. They eat their breakfasts in their little onesies, spilling eggs and blackberries, sausage pieces clinging to fleece. I stand them up in their highchairs, holding them with one hand and unzipping their pajama’s with the other and- voila! Underneath the onesie is their clothes for the day, stretchy pants and long sleeve shirts adding an extra layer in the night and an extra 5 minutes for mama in the morning.

We love blackberries! 

Waaaiiiit a second, what is underneath here?

Ta-da! 

Thanks to having dry, wavy hair, I only wash it once a week. I use the curling iron and lots of hairspray so on the first day I am looking a fool, running errands and attending Bible study sporting a 'do' like a contestant in a beauty pageant (one who doesn't wear enough make-up and struts around in yoga pants). By day three, I'm in my prime with my hair relaxed into a beachy wave, by day five I am rocking a bun with some dry shampoo, and by day seven I have lost all control and am all side-pony-crazy-eyed, feeling like I cannot do another single thing until I wash it.

I have never NOT put my make up on in the car while I’m on the way to go somewhere, I just keep it in there. I can’t remember the last time I left the house in the morning without bringing my breakfast with me. A muffin wrapped in a paper towel, a cookie in each pocket, some bacon in my bag- I would like to say I’m kidding or exaggerating but maybe one day I will write a post on cleaning out my purse and my coat pockets. I swear to you, I made a new friend at church one day, and as I was talking to her I reached into my pocket for something and my hand grazed some old carrots. She never would have known but it startled me and I yelled. I tried to play it off like it was Lou’s fault but things like that happen more than they should. I could tell you more, but you would discount me as a total wacko so I will let out a little information at a time and please do not ever ask to see the inside of my car without giving me 24 hour notice.  

Yes, I know I am a mama of wee ones and these days are especially crazy but I have always been this way. It is a miracle that I have friends, and even more shocking that Hubby, the keeper of all time and the lover of all normalcy, married me. People thought we were waiting to live together until we got married for spiritual reasons, but in actuality, it was because I didn't want him to know! He would have left! (He told me so later). 

When I started the spending fast, making time, making room, making space for what matters most is one of the things in my life I really wanted to address. Listen, we all have things about ourselves that bother us and at a certain point, we stop what we're doing and say, "Okay, time to deal." 

I wanted to learn to not put the things I love the most into the margins while the pages of my days are filled with nonsense. Fasting from shopping plays into this aspect of my life because sometimes when life slows down enough to catch my breath, that is where I turn, Let me fill these 15 minutes I have with running into a store to buy something, to pull up the Amazon app on the phone, to circle items of clothing in a catalog. 

Then I have all the things, and they are not the things I want, the things that will bring me peace or satisfy the longings of my soul so I look for more things. Then you have a house, a basement, an attic full of stuff and your life and your heart are cluttered... and your husband makes you have a garage sale... and you get in the biggest fight of your marriage after you refuse to throw out all the things at the garage sale that didn't sell and that you tried to bring back into the house. Bless our neighbors, we moved shortly after this. 

My favorite, favorite, favorite writer of all the writers and all the time is C.S. Lewis. Why do I love him so? Like every one, he is far more brilliant than I, his writing speaks, shouts really. He is not intimidating like some authors, but instead his words sink in deep, absorbed like they're running through my blood and passing through my heart and changing me inside out. This is one of my favorite passages from him:

“This is why the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting in that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind. We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system; because now we are letting Him work the right part of us.”

Yes, C.S. Lewis- the mornings! Let us get a grip on our mornings. Mine are so wild. For Lent, I did not give anything up but am seeking redemption in my mornings. Up until this past week, I wake when my children wake, filling coffee mugs and sippy cups simultaneously. Battling over whether the television plays Daniel Tiger or the Today Show. Me, in my pajama's, looking for peace and quiet amidst the chaos. Them, in all their bed-head preciousness, seeking my engagement at a level I cannot reach until 10am. 

This week has been good, and bad. 5:30 am people, this is a big difference (my children get up at 8 am, don't hate me). I have loved these sunrise mornings, today I showered, spent time in the Word, drank two cups of coffee, made pancakes, and picked up toys before I heard any baby cries. But by lunch I was ready to go back to bed and now it is 8 pm and I have a list of things to do that I can barely read, I am faint with exhaustion (insert dramatic sigh). All I have wanted to do all day is CHECK OUT and watch the Bachelor finale but that was not in the cards for me. Lots of needs up in here. Daddy's out of town and nobody is napping. 

Note to self and any other people seeking to become born-again-early-risers: DO NOT try this experiment the week of day-light saving's time when the nap schedules completely implode. Apparently all the other parents knew about this before 11 pm Saturday night when Hubby saw it on Facebook (where we get all our news and current events) and informed me we needed to change our clocks. The good, scheduled mothers- who have a stool in their bathroom where they put their make-up on- started shifting their children's nap-time five minutes a day, two weeks ahead of time, and the change was seamless.

But tomorrow I will wake again, me, wild with my fussings and frettings stopping to "come in out of the wind..." I love it! That is from Mere Christianity, folks. Lewis' talks that he gave on the radio while he was at Oxford during World War II compiled into a book of essay's. A great intro to his writing. 

Thanks for reading! Sorry it was so long, I just have so many thoughts about 'making space.' It has been on my mind for so long and I am so bad at it and just want to know if this is a struggle for other people... please someone say yes! And I'm not sure that there is really a Part 2 coming, I have just seen this promise of a sequel on other, better blogs and thought it fitting for today. 

My Tips for Spending a Ridiculous Amount of Money at the Grocery Store

Just in case you were starting to think we had it all together over at Casa de Ally, here is a reality check. First of all, I do not want anyone to feel guilty reading this blog. There is a 99.9% chance you are more disciplined in spending than I am; therefore, you do not need to do a year long fast to keep you away from buying yet another striped shirt. Secondly, yes we are on a spending fast when it comes to many items but we are still ALL IN when it comes to the grocery store.

I see posts all the time about how people are getting cash back using coupons, cutting their bill in half while still shopping organic, and even one  blogger who grocery shops once a month (and her family of four lives off 14,000 a year and paid cash for their house and cars, amazing!). These people have it TOGETHER. They are blessing their families with their wisdom and planning. They are the ones that are making us feel guilty. Don't put me in that camp!

When I told Hubby that I was going to not spend money on myself for a year, HE DIDN'T EVEN CARE. He said, "Okay... but when are you going to start cutting back on groceries? " Seriously.

We have talks all the time about what the grocery budget really is. And I have no idea! It is wild.

We are starting Financial Peace University at our church, and one of the questions this past week was: "Where does most of your money go, that you wish it didn't?" Many people said they were paying off a car they hated, school loans, their homes, kids college... My answer? Walmart! Hy-vee! Fareway! Trader Joes! Whole Foods! Cost-Co! I give it all to them. Every week.

Here are my tips for spending an asinine amount of money at the grocery store:

1. Don't use coupons, ever.
I love to look at coupons when they come in the mail. I try to find coupons for things I regularly buy. "Oooh, look, that's my brand of toilet paper- right there! It made it into the paper!" Then I cut it out. Of course it can't be used for a few days because of the date in fine print. So I carefully set it on the counter. Then I carefully set a pile of mail on top of it. Then on top of that I set a dirty napkin. And later a few crayons and a banana peel. Then by the time I throw it all out... the coupon has expired- shoot! Happens every week.

2. Meal plan.
This seemed like the gateway step into being a mother and wife of excellence. When I started casually mentioning that I meal plan around my friends, they sounded very impressed. "Yes girls, I make a list of all the meals we're having this week. Then sometimes we eat them. I am amazing." But apparently this is a budget buster. Because when I grocery shop, I am shopping for things that are on my list, NOT things that are on sale that week. The real domestic divas meal plan based on what is in the grocery ad or what they already have on hand.

3. Have everyone in your house follow a different diet.
Following a grain, sugar and dairy free diet helps me deal with my variety of GI and auto-immune issues. So I make all my food from scratch, out of necessity. I am not bragging about this, in fact I find it rather depressing (and incredibly time consuming!). There are definitely worse things, but there are better things too- like being able to eat mozzarella sticks. Through trial and error, we learned that Lou doesn't digest wheat well so we try to keep her gluten-free. My hubby is on a heavy-dairy, high fat, bacon-diet and he eats like a teenager in a growth spurt. Our 9 month old Mack is vegan.

4. Have your husband grocery shop occasionally. 
This is self-explanatory. He buys ridiculous things. The best part is when he comes home and explains each purchase and why he's so excited about it... "See this jar of pickles? It is the right kind, not the wrong kind." Whatever.

5. Bring your children with you to the grocery store. 
Mack still rides in his infant car seat so he rides in the base of the shopping cart, then Lou sits facing me in the toddler seat. So where do the groceries go? On my arms. I literally wear them all. I bring my bags: one for produce, one for meat, one for dairy, and one for packaged goods. I used to pack things around Mack but stopped when he started choking on a green onion in Trader Joes. Embarrassing. But actually, it is all embarrassing so I do not make eye-contact with anyone in the grocery store while I am doing this. And I know I buy more than I should because I am completely frazzled.

6. Try to feed your family healthy, nutritious things that don't come in a box.
If we didn't have food allergies in our house, we would eat Kraft Mac and Cheese, hot dogs, and chicken nuggets every night. I do not kid, and then we would use all the extra money we saved to go to Disney World.

7. Don't make a grocery list, just make it in your head when you're on your way there. 
I lose my list in between my house and the store so I end up making a mental list. Then I forget it, and frantically hustle through the aisles once Lou starts pointing and yelling "I'M HUNGRY FOR THAT" or "SUCKER, PLEASE!" (they hand them out at the check-out, which she is well aware of).  

So now you know. I am especially imperfect. All joking aside, I really would like to grow in this area now that we moved and are no longer close to a Whole Foods (who can save money with guacamole that good?!).

I would love any advice and tips of how others are saving money on groceries, do I need one of those accordion files to keep my coupons in? Is anyone really doing that?!