Me too, Me too, Me too, Me too, Me too...

The last year so much has happened in our world that I have struggled to engage with any of it outside of my own head and conversations with our husband. Sharing one's opinion on Social Media seems vulnerable to me, would anyone care what I say? Will I sound uneducated? Will I offend anyone that I know and love? X and Y both have different political opinions than me, what will they think when they read my post?

Yet I love when people share their opinions thoughtfully. How blessed am I that my Facebook newsfeed is often filled with interesting articles, words, opinions, and dialogue on all the topics I care most about. Most of the people I choose to follow are very passionate about what they believe, yet convey their opinions with much grace.

Because of what I've read and seen in my own life, my heart and my opinions have shifted dramatically the past several years. First there was the election and the feelings that certain politicians and their verbiage exposed. Then there was the selection of books I've gone through this past year. Now I am reading bloggers and listening to Podcasts by people that are teaching me things I thought I understood... but don't. I'm talking about heavy things like racism, privilege, and feminism.

Now with the Harvey Weinstein scandal breaking last week, a whole new set of emotions and passions and opinions have awakened in my heart and I can't help but speak up. Thankfully a growing platform has made it easy for me, a few simple words cover the tumultuous wave of feelings that I have: "me too."

One of Weinstein's victims said she didn't speak up for years because of the intense shame she felt, she stuffed the memories and feelings as deep down as she could, burying it and moving on as best she could. I remember telling a friend once that I did the same thing, calling it a little "drop-box" I kept in the back of my mind. I would take the negative, abusive experience, mentally put it in the box, and keep it as separate from my self as I possibly could.

That's all fine and dandy until you watch a movie that has a scene that triggers something, making your heart race and your stomach nauseous, or a feeling towards men in your life that you just can't quite name, or an obsession with a national news scandal that leaves you unsettled, shaken, and desperate for more victims to speak up come forward-- suddenly you realize that that lock on your mythical "drop-box" may be broken.

I am following this story with great hope-- the social current buzzing around my generation feels electric, and ready for a big change. Things for my daughter will be certainly be different than they were for me. The younger generation of men that we are raising up can be taught by their parents and friends how to treat a woman, not just by a reprimand to "be a good gentleman and hold open the door for her" but rather to be a good man and speak up, stand up, and defend the women around you.

I am thankful to have worked for and along side some very good men. Some of the best I could ever know. The value and worth they saw in me gave me so much courage and made me a more whole, strong woman. But I have also encountered many, many men who saw women in a way that breaks my heart. As a young impressionable woman looking for security in many of the wrong places, those men scared my heart in a way that I continue to feel pain from.

The best thing that ever happened to me was meeting and marrying my husband. Nothing has been more redeeming in my story, in my life than being loved by a good, kind, and honest man. When I hear all the "me too's," (and think of the hundreds and thousands of the ones unspoken, let's never forget, 1:4) I think, now what? Where will these women all go from here? I hope that many of them have found paths of healing. Mine came from a wonderful counselor (one in almost every state we've lived, I think it's like four or five-- so if you need a good one, ask me!) solid communities of women where people are actually vulnerable and share what's beneath our sometimes made up facades, books of course, and most of all finding ways to hope.

Things will be different, the boys living under my roof are being raised up to be strong men who know the value of every human on this Earth: whether those humans have different colored skin, different sexual orientations, different backgrounds, different cultures, and different gender.

Keep reading, keep talking, keep praying...