How do you get through hard days?

So here is my question, for anyone who might find it in their heart of hearts to answer, how do you handle your day when it falls apart around you? When the children cry too much, when the boss criticizes, when the wardrobe majorly malfunctions, when the favorite restaurant is closed (happened to us a few weeks ago- we FREAKED out), when you are stressed and anxious and maxed out and you can’t handle it if something else goes wrong… and then, something else goes wrong? What do you do? What do you turn to?

I am looking for a relatively practical response.

Because for me, the answer used to be, if I have ___, I’ll feel better, this day will be better.

My answer is often food. If one of my children won’t nap and is sobbing their head off in the crib, I am standing in front of the pantry shoving chocolate chips in my mouth. Sometimes the answer is shopping. If I am frustrated with everything, a moment of peace looks like sitting on the computer, looking at pretty things, putting them in my shopping cart and buying them.

I do not feel guilty at all for buying myself a latte yesterday, even though I purposefully included no coffee drinks in my year-long spending fast. I do not feel guilty because to me, doing this spending fast is not accomplishing a goal nor passing a test. I am not looking for a pat on the back from anyone and that is certainly not why I am keeping a blog.

This spending fast is not about getting a trophy at the end nor is it about deprivation. It is just a closer look at myself, my tendencies, my own life.

Day in and day out, this fast is seriously no big deal. If I have the urge to shop, I just do something else and it goes away, who knew?! If I am out and want to get a milkshake, I go home and make one instead it's wild! Sure, there are moments, sometimes hours where I am thinking about buying stuff and I struggle, then I move on.

I am very curious, is this how other people work? Do we all use things around us to make ourselves feel better? Or is that just me?

The latte yesterday was GREAT. I sat there, alone, able to journal through my thoughts, read, listen to my i-pod, I left that coffee shop a happy and refreshed woman.

Then I walked through my door. Nobody took their needed naps. My husband had bad news about work and the location of his next bridge project. The plan for dinner wouldn’t work because it didn’t thaw in time. I looked around, took it all in, saw the laundry scattered throughout the room, smelled a diaper needing a change, felt the sweet little hands tugging at my coat, noticed the baby snot that was all over both my shoulders and had been there the whole time I merrily chatted everyone up at the coffee shop, and I felt like crying.

So then what, do I leave again? Request another two hours of solitude to re-energize me to face this new set of problems? How do you engage with your day when it is hard?

This is my question for the year, how will I find contentment, apart from “retail therapy” or whatever pick-me up's I am used to choosing? 

(I fully endorse buying new clothes and latte's, Nordstroms and Starbucks FOREVER and I will remain faithful to them no matter what, Amen).