She's Gone Forever! Sending Kids to School is hard

A few years ago I had this great friend who really struggled sending her oldest son to school. Her younger daughter felt lonely and was having a hard time as well, and my friend ended up pulling her son out of school to homeschool him and that journey has been awesome for their family.

I remember thinking how crazy that all sounded to me, and I even questioned my friendship with this gal because I felt like I couldn't relate to someone who didn't need a break from their kids as badly as I did! I am pretty sure mine were both under two at this time and life felt super crazy.

Fast forward like a minute, and today I sent Mack to preschool and dropped Emmy off for her second week of kindergarten. It is weird and wonderful in all the ways.

If you haven't sent kids to school yet, hold your judgement! I always believed the social media pictures and sad mamas seemed a bit dramatic. I am not super sentimental-- whenever people tell me to enjoy the little years because they go by quickly, I smile back and cheerfully say, "Thank God!" I barely blinked twice over sending my oldest to preschool every day, grateful for someone else to step in and work with her on learning to read and creating crafts my little art lover could enjoy. I never thought I would be emotional sending my kids. I love the public school system where we live, thrived in it when I was a kid, and some of my best memories revolve around my friends and the amazing teachers that sharpened my character and mind all those years.

But honestly, watching Emmy walk away from my car and into her school each morning is the hardest part of my day. My heart sinks as I see her little backpack bob away through the crowd. My spirit has just been melancholy about the whole thing the past few weeks. That little girl has experienced so much transition with adding new siblings basically every year of her life and moving three times. These things have made her years at home seriously fly by. It is a wake up call to me as we make the most of our afternoons and weekend together, and I can see how much quicker the time is passing before her brothers go to school.

I wouldn't trade the wonderful experience she is getting to keep her with me, that isn't where God is calling us right now, and she enjoys school so much! Last weekend she told me she wished she was there instead of home, and it didn't hurt my feelings at all because I knew what she meant! I know not all of my kiddo's will love school like she does-- I can't imagine any of these boys sitting still all day and am already praying for Archer's future teachers.

Guess who shut himself in this locker shortly after this photo was taken?

The boys are going through a lot of change too-- they have lost their ring-leader! Emmy is the one always saying, "Okay, now you're all pirates, I'm the mermaid, let's run to the ship and shoot canons at each other!" Now they just wander around, staring at each other, and asking me for snacks.

So all you mama's having a hard time adjusting, sending your lovies off really is a big deal. It suddenly hit me that this is the first time I have to make peace with one of the biggest aspects of parenting: sending your babies off into the world and letting go. It is a real thing, and it is hard.

Don't be concerned, I only cried in my bed for two hours before this picture was  taken. The only cure for my sorrow? Trying to fix her hair for the first day, ha! Good-bye fair maiden, and I wish your teach the best of luck!

Also the scheduling, paper pile-up, lunch packing, and drop off system is nooooo joke. I am exhausted! I am finally starting to feel normal again. I kept telling Hubby the first few days that I don't have the stamina for this, and if I knew how hard getting kids out the door for school was, I wouldn't have had so many!

Thankfully the missing "I" in this photo was found by the vacuum cleaner, not one of the babies