You Might be 39 Weeks Pregnant If...

Welp, I'm feeling a little low on the totem-pole of dignity as I drink the cheesy remains of my "Chicago Mix" popcorn from a coffee mug.

It surely doesn't boost my confidence when my favorite, and best fitting pants are the ones my hubby looked at and said, "Well, at least you don't have to worry about me making a move on you when you wear those things."

These are the tight at the ankle lounge pants that only look good on the tall, skinny folk. Yet, I keep trying... 

Yes, duh there is SO much to be grateful for like a full-term pregnancy, an active and prayerfully healthy baby. Sure, I feel thankful all day long but I am also just a bit "aware" that I have been pregnant for the last 267 days. It has hurt patience's case that a doctor I saw last month told me I would likely go into labor close to 36 weeks, which meant that every ache and pain I felt from 35 weeks on had me crying wolf and calling for back-up.

So now at this point, I have given up a wee bit, and am basking in my macaron eating, sweatpants wearing glory.

Maybe "a box a day keeps the baby away" is what is going on in my house right now.
I am a new rider on the macaron train, I never got the allure but it is safe to say, I'm in deep.  
Parenting has taken a strong pull towards "default to Nana in all cases" whenever my children ask me for anything.
These kids don't know how lucky they are to have this kind of attention paid to them!

Suuuuuuch a good idea to get Mack hooked on hockey so he can ask me to play all day while Mike is at work! 
Here is my current list of "You Know You're 9 Months Pregnant If..." to entertain, and maybe even slightly shock you. Don't worry, no bodily fluids shall be mentioned.

1. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...the sound of you chewing crushed ice is keeping your husband awake at night.

2. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...a burrito bowl from Chipotle qualifies as "a light snack."

3. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...Your doctor cheerfully says "see you next week!" at your most recent check up and you decide you totally hate him.

4. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...rolling over Just. Isn't. Worth. It.

5. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...Your maternity clothes are too tight.

6. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
... When you make a phone call, the first thing you have to say when the person on the other end answers is: "No! I'm not in labor!" 

7. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...People openly stare at you when you're out in public-- (possibly because I'm muttering to myself like a lunatic, "You don't HAVE to waddle, do not waddle, point your damn toes forward") ... and also because my maternity clothes do not fit. 

8. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...you tell yourself, "I will definitely go for a walk today." but then you just go up a few stairs and call it good. 

9. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...every day brings a new round of symptoms to embrace. I mentioned to my doctor a new and improved bout of pain I was feeling in my pelvis and he casually said, "Oh! That's just your hips widening to prepare for labor!" 
Awesome. I'm so glad that's a thing.

10. You might be 9 months pregnant if...
...you are running out of ways to prepare for baby (as if such a thing were possible!) Today I caught myself unsubscribing to all the spammy e-mails I get because this is just not something I want to deal with when I have a newborn in the house. 
Ugh! Someone come teach me to knit!

And fyi, these really are light-hearted complaints. I love babies and being pregnant. I just am blogging this post because I never want to forget these precious moments. It is just a lot of preciousness squeezed into this 5'4 frame.

1 comment:

  1. This post was great! I turn 39 weeks tomorrow and thought I would have already had the baby! Try some raspberry leaf tea.. these ladies at work told me it puts women in to labor. Just chugged a tall glass today.. will see if it makes anything happen!

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